The Little Buffy Site

Imagine how Buffy's life might have been different if she and her family had only known of her extraordinary calling (and had moved to Sunnydale) when she was little. All the innocent insignificant details of a child's everyday life could have served to further prepare and strengthen her for the mantle she would one day assume. Here are some of the ways in which things might have been different...

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Xmas Songs | Pop Songs | Trad Songs | Recreation | Books |
Momisms | Gallery | Keepers | Links | Credits

Little Buffy's Christmas Songs

Christmas carols shape many young children's perceptions of what wintertime is all about. And young slayers must be especially aware that while winter's short days and long nights mean less outdoor playtime for their little human friends, they mean lots more of it for their little vampire enemies! "There are far more supernatural forces at work around the holidays than just Santa and his elves," warns the slayer handbook. Here are special versions of classic Christmas songs the Summers family might have sung around the holidays (to prepare their little girl for the demon-infested reality of that season), had they only known she was destined to be "The Slayer":
  1. Holly Jolly Harvest
  2. Rudolph the Red Fanged Weredeer
  3. Vampy Claws is Coming to Town
  4. Moloch the Snowman
  5. Deck the Clowns
  6. Bite Christmas
  7. Winter Xanderland
  8. To Slay in a Manger
  9. Oh Unholy Night
  10. Hark! The Hellmouth's Angel Sings
  11. We Three Fiends
  12. Oh Little Town of Sunnydale
  13. Blessed Saint Demonica
  14. Violent Night
  15. I Saw Mummy Kissing Xander Claus
  16. Der Kindestodt
  17. Sulfur Hells
  18. My Two Sharp Fangs
  19. Boy, What a Girl!
  20. We Wish You a Scary Christmas
  21. I Cast My Spells on Solstice Day
  22. The Thirteen Days of Undeath
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Little Buffy's Pop Songs

Unbeknownst to most people, popular artists often record alternative versions of their biggest songs that can be played in the homes of young slayers to help accustom them to their upcoming roles. It is unknown whether artists record these "extended-slay" versions with full knowledge of the slayer tradition, or merely as creative challenges undertaken at the behest of persuasive watchers. In either case, here are titles from some of the modified pop songs that would have been played in the home of Little Buffy by her parents as she grew up:
  1. Addicted to Blood - Robert Palmer
  2. Like a Slayer - Madonna
  3. Dust in the Bronze - Kansas
  4. You're So Slain - Carly Simon
  5. Some Teenager's Blood - Jefferson Airplane
  6. Don't Let the Sun Come Up on Me - Elton John
  7. Whose Blood Have These Cowboys Drawn? - Paula Cole
  8. Stakin' You in the Streets - The Doobie Brothers
  9. Stake Me Easy - The Eagles
  10. 50 Ways to Bleed Your Lover - Paul Simon
  11. The Sounds of Violence - Simon & Garfunkel
  12. Feel like Takin' Blood - Bad Company
  13. Who Gave Back Your Soul - Jewel
  14. What Would Happen if We Bit - Meredith Brooks
  15. Vamp Dust Woman - Fleetwood Mac (& Hole)
  16. Bite Wedding - Billy Idol
  17. Smells Like Hyena Spirit - Nirvana
  18. Everything Dead - Bush
  19. God Save Our Queen - The Sex Pistols
  20. I Fought the LAW - The Clash
  21. What's Blood Got to Do with It? - Tina Turner
  22. Do You Really Want to Hunt Me? - Culture Club
  23. I Will Always Hunt You - Whitney Houston
  24. Every Breast You Stake - The Police
  25. Sorry Seems to Be the Harvest word - Elton John
  26. Little Red Slayerette - Prince
  27. Don't go Staking my Heart - Elton John & Kiki Dee
  28. I'll Stake You There - The Staple Singers
  29. Bring Me Some Slaughter - Melissa Etheridge
  30. ManBleeder - Hall & Oates
  31. The Ghost is You - The Psychedelic Furs
  32. West End Ghouls - The Pet Shop Boys
  33. Save a Slayer (till the morning after) - Duran Duran
  34. Sweet Screams - The Eurythmics
  35. Lucy in the Chatroom with Demons - The Beatles
  36. Everybody's Free (to Wield Wood) - Rozalla
  37. Slay Lady Slay - Bob Dylan
  38. Pretty Warlock - Roy Orbison
  39. Alive, not - Pearl Jam
  40. Slayla - Eric Clapton
  41. Vampirz Paradise - Stevie Wonder & Coolio
  42. Another that Bites is Dust - Queen
  43. I Just Can't Stop Clubbing You - Michael Jackson
  44. Fangmouth Strikes Again - The Smiths
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Little Buffy's Traditional Songs

The songs that make up our cultural heritage are an important source of information to children, young slayers included. Be they sung around the warm glow of a campire or a television set, traditional songs are as eternal and educational as the arcane books of any watcher. Here are some classic folk songs, TV theme songs, and show tunes that Little Buffy might have been exposed to as a young girl, had everyone only known of her "special destiny":
  1. Buff the Vampire Slayer
  2. Dated Vampires
  3. They Call the Wind Ampata
  4. Cage of the Burning Sun
  5. The Lady Came from Sunnydale
  6. The Cattle Hymn of the Republic
  7. The Vampires' Harvest
  8. Hubba-Hubba Mantis Girl
  9. Harvest Time
  10. Slayertime
  11. Buffygirl's Town
  12. The Buffy Bunch
  13. Barney's Vampire Song
  14. Bloodsucker Street
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Little Buffy's Recreation

Ahhh, recreation and fun, sometimes even for superheroes.... How to fill those idle moments when one isn't saving the world from legions of miniature bloodsucking creeps. These might have been some of Little Buffy's favorite ways of unwinding when she was off-duty, had she and her friends only 'known about her' way back then: return to main menu

Little Buffy's Childhood Books

Books play such an important role in shaping young children's perceptions of the world and of their ultimate roles in it. Here are some of the books that Buffy might have been given to read when she was a young girl, had it been known all along she was destined to defend the world against vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness:
  1. Nancy Slew, girl vampire killer
  2. The Hardly Boys (history of the Anointed Ones)
  3. Charlotte's Web of No Return
  4. James and the Giant Leech (boy battles bloodsucker)
  5. Chitty Chitty Fang Fang
  6. Furious George (the Master's monkey)
  7. Clifford the Big Dead Dog
  8. Homer Slice (last of the clawhanded vampires)
  9. Are You My Master?
  10. The Wind did in Willow (but Giles revived her)
  11. The Wizard offed Oz
  12. Slaying Beauty (does the handsome prince dare kiss her?)
  13. The Sword in the Beau (no, perhaps he doesn't)
  14. Pippi Gonestalking
  15. Charlie and the Zombie Factory (tales of a teen runaway shelter)
  16. Lilly's Purple Plastic Rocket Launcher
  17. Winnie the Ghoul (or, "Revenge of the Heffalumps")
  18. The House of Pooh's Coroner
  19. Harold and the Purple Cadaver (more fun at the funeral home)
  20. If You Give a Mouse a Transfusion...
  21. Drac and the Beanstalk (Fe-fi-fo-fum, he smells the blood of everyone)
  22. The Saggy Baggy Mummygirl
  23. The Barinfang Bears (don't even think of feeding them)
  24. Yertle the Terminator
  25. Big Dead (the resurrected Irish Setter)
  26. Goodnight Moon, Hello Werewolf
  27. Possess Me in the Zoo (field-trip to the hyena petting-park)
  28. Little House of the Scary
  29. Johnny Ptomaine (cookboy of the Revolutionary War)
  30. The Poky Little Poltergeist
  31. Mr. Popper's Pirahna (a swim coach and his loving boys)
  32. One Fish, Two Fish, Fang Fish, Slew Fish
  33. Mantis Eggs and Ham
  34. Encyclopedia Borg (the school nerd and his strange new friends)
  35. How the Grinch Stole Vital Organs
  36. Horton Slew a Who
  37. The Cat in the Hyena (or, "He'll never mess up our house again")
  38. Good Dog, Cujo
  39. Ripper Van Winkle (the watcher that time forgot)
  40. Ratbecca of Sunnydale Farm
  41. Ramona the Parasite (48 pounds of lifeforce-sucking mischief)
  42. Vlad of Green Gables
  43. Sweet Vampire High (just how badly do you want a boyfriend?)
  44. The Last of the Morticians (James Fenimore Cooper's undying classic)
  45. Robinson Gruesome
  46. Treasure Fryland (vampire pirates stranded on an island with no shade)
  47. Babar, King of the Hellmouth
  48. Humpty Deadly (or, "Whatever happened to Mother Goose?")
  49. Peter Rabid
  50. The Velveteen Werehare
  51. Pat the Bloody
  52. Stuart Brittle (demon rodent encounters liquid nitrogen)
  53. Tom Lawyer & Huckleberry's Skin (ambulance-chaser meets swim team)
  54. Lassie, Stay Dead!
  55. The Boxcar Bodies
  56. Horton Hatches the Velociraptor
  57. The Little Engine that Killed
  58. The Babysplitter's Club (human sacrifice cult)
  59. Where the Wild Things Aren't (for a change)
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Things Buffy's Mom might have said to Little Buffy

The innocuous little statements that parents make to children in everyday conversation are very important in helping youngsters realize who they are and where they are going. Here are some of the ordinary day-to-day things Mrs. Summers might have said to her little girl, had she only known much earlier that Buffy was "The Chosen One":
  1. Honey, why don't you go out and slay in the yard for awhile?
  2. Did you have fun slaying with your friends after school today?
  3. Your report card says that you "slay well with others."
  4. When will you introduce me to all your little slaymates?
  5. Your teacher says you had a lot to share at "Slay and Tell."
  6. We're shopping for weapons, dear. We buy now and slay later.
  7. Your crafts teacher says you make interesting "slay figures."
  8. Never be afraid to slay what's on your mind, Buffy.
  9. Mr. Giles tells me you landed the starring role in the school slay!
  10. As they say on the commercials, dear, "Life's short, slay hard!"
  11. All work and no slay makes Buffy a dull girl...
  12. Slay what you will, I'm not changing my mind!
  13. Buffy, let your little friends share in the killing too. Everyone likes a team slayer.
  14. Make slay while the sun doesn't shine.
  15. Someday you'll grow up and move away from Sunnydale... You're here to slay, gone tomorrow.
  16. Don't commit to any one vampire too early, baby. It's ok to slay the field.
  17. I have a headache. Would you please slay something a little more soothing?
  18. Rumor has it you're quite the hit on the school slayground!
  19. I'm going to a gallery convention this weekend. But I'm concerned that "while the cat's away, the mice will slay..."
  20. I hardly see you anymore. Invite your friend Darla over and slay at home tonight!
  21. What a sense of humor. Oh Buffy, you slay me!
  22. I've never seen another child work as creatively as you do with Slaydoh....
  23. Now Buffy, don't feel you have to kill every single vampire as soon as we get to Sunnydale. Just imagine it's a "slay as you go" plan.
  24. The family that slays together, stays together.
  25. Your father and I think you're stressing-out way too much about this new vampire at school. We just want you to stake it easy!
  26. Tell me why we have to buy your weapons at "Courtney's Medieval Boutique" when they sell the same items at Slay-Mart and Slayless for half the price?!
  27. Don't worry honey, you'll develop a rhythm for staking vampires soon enough. For now, just relax and slay along in time to the music.
  28. Aren't you just the cutest little thing, staying busy in your slaypen like that!
  29. Buffy, how many times have I told you not to slay in the street? You could get yourself killed out there!
  30. This is church, sweetie. Kneel down, close your eyes, touch your cross, then slay really hard for what you believe in.
  31. Cordelia may be the May Queen, Buffy, but you'll always be my little Slay Queen!
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Little Buffy's Pal Gallery

Long before they are old enough to wield cameras or VCR's, young children often draw one another to remember special moments and keep their best friends close in their hearts. The friends of little slayers are no exception. Here, some of Little Buffy's afterschool pals create their own images of Little Buffy and her pint-sized gang:

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Little Buffy's Keepers

The humble possessions of childhood (a ball of string, a broken dog collar) can often leave a more lasting emotional impression than the most dazzling acquisitions of adulthood (just ask that famous Christmas hero, "The Littlest Angel"). Here, some of Little Buffy's internet pals symbolically "keep" items that might have belonged to Buffy and her gang when they were little kids (had the world only known sooner of her amazing calling):

Wanna be a Little Buffy Keeper?
Come up with something truly unique that one of the characters might have had as a little kid (with a funny, cute, or macabre twist) and go to the request page!

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Little Buffy's Links

Little Buffy's Rainy Afternoon Reading List:

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Write to Little Buffy

Please tell Little Buffy and her stupid babysitter exactly what you think of this crazy website scheme they dreamed up while her parents went to the movies. ("That'll teach 'em to turn their backs on us! Wait'll they get the phone bill!). Can you suggest ways for them to be even more diabolical? return to main menu

Thanks and Things

Thanks to Joss Whedon, cast, and crew of BtVS for giving life to the amazing world of Big Buffy who has been the best big sister ever to Little Buffy! All characters and plot ideas from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Television Series utilized herewithin are the property of Joss Whedon and Warner Brothers Studios. Naturally, no copyright infringement is intended.


  • Christina Willrich - created image of Little Buffy at top of page (colorized by Lisa Rose). Chris is available for freelance artwork and web design!
  • Sounds of the Slayer - provided "Plunge" & "Nice Work" sound clips.
  • Jesse Jou - wrote lyrics for "Vampires' Harvest" & "Hubba-Hubba Mantis Girl" and contributed to "Jugular Park."
  • Lady Elendil - suggested list theme ideas for Little Buffy's Indoor & Schoolyard Games, TV Programs, and Toys, and toy items "Hide & Stake," "Risk," "Easy-Stake Oven," and "Slayed by the Bell."
  • Allison T. - suggested song titles for "You're So Slain" & "Another that Bites is Dust," movie titles "Drusilla, Queen of the Bronze" & "Vampire Records," Food "Stake & Bake," and Momism "Stake it easy."
  • Allison T. & Christine M. - suggested song titles for "I'll Stake You There," "Stakin' You in the Streets" & "Some Teenager's Blood" and TV Program titles "Pee-Wee's Slayhouse" & "Ghoulhouse Rock" and Mom Said items "Don't Slay in the Street" & "Team Slayer."
  • Jim - inspired Mom Saying "Slay Mart," song titles "Dust in the Bronze" & "50 Ways to Bleed Your Lover" and movie titles "From Here to Fraternity," "101 Hyenas," "Sixteen Blowtorches" & "Desperately Seeking Darla."
  • Maytree - suggested song title "Addicted to Blood."
  • Raininfire - inspired song title "ManBleeder."
  • Miriam - suggested Mom Said item "Slayless."
  • Chris C. - contributed to "Jugular Park."
All original material on this and associated pages written and © 1997-99 by Lisa Rose (aka the stupid babysitter), except as noted above. Permission is requested prior to forwarding or republishing any section. Please visit her humble homepage.

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? Pass us a note!

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Remember dear, life is short, slay hard!